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WEDDING BUDGETING

"A real world budgeting concept for Brides planning for, and paying for their own wedding!"
by Robert Valdes, YBP.com Staff Writer - June 14, 2005

FORWARD: This article is based on my experience as a professional wedding vendor in the San Francisco Bay Area wedding community for more 17+ years, AND as someone who has planned not one, but TWO weddings for myself and my wife. My first wedding was a destination wedding in Las Vegas. The second was a traditional church ceremony and hotel reception wedding. I feel it is pertinent to mention this information so that my readers will understand what I am stating here is based on facts, real world and actual experience.

My budgeting concept involves steps and thought processes that are not necessarily new or original unto themselves, but when combined as a whole, create an entirely new way of thinking. Thus, giving the bride a fresh approach with the goal of putting their hard earned dollars in the proper areas of their wedding. In order for this plan to work, but bride must be willing to do the following:

1. Place top value AND top dollar on the wedding products and services that MEAN THE MOST TO YOU!!!

2. Shopping!...And lots of it! This portion of the concept involves shopping for what you really want by getting out there and seeing as much as possible. Do not settle for the first thing you see and be sure to see vendors in ALL price ranges!

3. Beware of the budget advisor. The budget advisor is basically a list of items you need to shop for, along with a percentage (of your overall budget) of what that item should cost you. These archaic ways of determining what a particular product or service should cost have actually been detrimental to many brides throughout the years. This is discussed in detail below.

We'll discuss all of these items in detail but first let me give you a synopsis of the entire concept in a nutshell.

The concept, at it's core, involves dispelling the myth that a product or service is going to cost you a certain amount of money, whatever the reason (i.e., what your friend paid, how much the vendor you just saw charges, or what the budget advisor says it should cost). More often than not, brides pigeonhole themselves into a particular price bracket for a particular product or service, without fully researching the area of the wedding market they are shopping for. Example: A bride sees a high end wedding photographer who has a retail store-front right in the heart of downtown. She knew his prices were high and possibly out of her range. However, using the concept we are discussing, she sees the vendor, loves it, and now has an idea of what she wants, quality wise. Whether or not she can now find that quality in her price bracket is her task! She did not waste her time looking at a vendor she could not afford. But rather, she can now take the knowledge and experience and apply that to searching for a vendor who offers similar quality and service, for the price she is looking for. And, she will find it. Why? We explain that next.

What makes this part of the concept work is the HUGE discrepency when it comes to vendor pricing. Similar products or services have a wide range of pricing. You have to first shop for what you like and once you do that, you can continue to shop for that same quality in the price range that suits you. For the example above, the vendor had a high price partly because they had the expensive storefront and the front desk staff. There are many vendors who do not such overheard, and have other circumstances that can lead to lower pricing. We'll discuss this in more detail later.

Perhaps the most important method of this concept is item #1, to put top priority on the services and products that MATTER MOST TO YOU! Once again, the budget advisors DO NOT take into consideration how important that service or product is to you. We do recommend budget lists in order to see what you are going to need. But not for determining what percentage you should spend.

Of course, all of this means you will be doing alot of what we hope you would be doing anyway. and that is..SHOPPING, SHOPPING AND MORE SHOPPING. Another viewpoint is, that you shop for wedding services (even if you THINK they are out of your budget) in order to get an idea of the QUALITY LEVEL, that will satisfy you. In other words, you are not shopping on price, AT THIS POINT! In the early stage, you see vendors in all price levels, in order to get an idea of the quality you want. Example, if you see a reception site that you LOVE, but is out of your price range, you didn't waste your time. But rather, you got an idea of what you really love, and now you can take that knowledge with you as you further scour the market for that quality in the price that suits you.

By now you are saying to yourself, you don't have time for all of this shopping and searching and that is totally normal. But you have to ask yourself how important is the wedding to you? Do you want the wedding of your dreams? If the answer is YES, then all you have to do is invest your time wisely! Shop on the web. Go to BRIDAL FAIRES! Get recommendations from friends!

SO NOW THAT WE HAVE DISCUSSED THE BASICS, LET'S GET INTO MORE DETAIL.

SHOPPING: The shopping part should be fun! If it's not, then none of what we are telling you here will matter anyway. But assuming you want to shop around and see what's out there, all you have to do is combine lots of shopping, with the idea of NOT using the budget advisor (i.e., NOT following a preconceived list of what percentage of your overall budget a product or service should cost) the result will be that you will see vendors in ALL quality levels so that you can find out what quality level suits you! And the quality level will be a direction reflection of item #1 above, how important that particular product or service is to you and your fiance (ok, just you!).

Examples:

VENDOR PRICING: The issue with vendor pricing in a particular category or service is that it is all over the map. Vendors of similar quality can have huge differences in price. Much of it is determined by their location, overhead, experience and how busy they are. The important thing to remember is that you have to first know the quality you want (by doing lots of shopping), then go out and find that quality in your price range. In general, you will find that there is a 'price range' for a product or service of equal value. But this will not always be the case, because some vendors overcharge, and some undercharge. In general it is true. But if you look hard enough, you will find a quality vendor in the price range you are looking for. The thing to remember is, does the price range for that particular quality equate to the quality you want for your wedding?

BUDGET LISTS: WHY ARE THEY BAD. My concept operates firmly on the mantra of....Never go by a pre-determined percentage of what someone else published in a worksheet..even up to date worksheets from top websites and national and even local bridal guides do not consider the dynamic nature of the quality, range of services and the variations in pricing that many vendors charge. CASE IN POINT...to come out and say point blank that your Cake Knife (on a $50,000 wedding-.20%) should cost $100 is absolutely ridiculous. Because your cake knife may mean more to you than $100 in a $50,000 budget! Or, it may mean even less OR you may already have a family heirloom to use! All of these factors will have an impact in your budget. Because where you under spend, you can overspend in another area of your wedding which is less meaningful to you and vice-versa! Other factors that impact this aspect of the concept include the fact that many brides are choosing a less formal dinner. Food stations and buffet stations are fast becoming very 'chic' in this area of the U.S. and from what I hear other areas of the Nation as well. This decision might have been based on how important the dinner is, or what type of guests you are inviting, the time of day the wedding is, etc.

Slowly, you are now beginning to realize that the wedding planning is simply to dynamic to leave to a fixed percentage budget model. Which leads us to our next example.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT GOING OVER BUDGET. Do you recall the example of the cake knife above. If a bride already had one, then there is .20% of your budget now freed up for another product or service! This will happen all throughout the planning. Where you spend more on one thing, you spend less on something else! If you end up spending more on everything and just wanted a wedding you couldn't afford, then you simply need to get a second mortgage or take out a loan. HA HA! But seriously, we must stress that you DO keep your overall budget in mind. And when it comes to crunching the numbers, you would have the less important things at the bottom of the list anyway, if you use this concept correctly. You see, having the less important items at the bottom of the list, means you will be shopping for those last. So whatever budget happens to be left over, will be earmarked for those less important wedding services. But getting back to your overall budget, the reality is, that most people go over their budget anyway. The secret is that you have to be realistic about the overall budget to begin with as we mentioned, But that you will also be able to make up the difference, elsewhere if necessary, for the services that are a lower priority.

As with anything else in life, once you've done something once, you can most certainly do it much better a second time. With your wedding, unfortunately you don't get a second chance (that is unless you are of the %50 that divorces, but that is an entirely different topic on an entirely different website), which is why we are promoting this logical way of wedding planning.

We urge you to read on, and become aware of the issues discussed below. This will save yourself the hassle and expense of 'a lesson learned' in your wedding planning.

ISSUE #1 - Half way through planning, you realize that you spent more on something that wasn't as important to you, because the budget advisor stated a specific percentage of your overall budget for that product and that you did not prioritize your list and beginning shopping for things at the top of that list first!

You start planning with this preconceived notion of what something should cost. When you call for quotes you pass up vendors that didn't have a figure within the amount you were looking for. At it's core, this is not shopping around for quality and what appeals to you. You are letting the simple nature of a figure be the deciding factor. This only works in the rare case that the budget advisors recommended percentage is accurate, which is highly unlikely and the entire reason we are publishing this essay. The process we use by which to determine the proper number, would be predicated upon you knowing exactly what you want in a given area of the wedding market. For instance, if you want great flowers, and want to work with a florists who is an artist and pays attention to detail, then you go out looking for those types of vendors. You will find in many cases, that the lower end vendors will also be lowered price. But this is not always the case, which makes it even harder. Example, we know of a florist who is semi retired but still does amazing flowers out of her garage. She does not advertise, but she networks and has many referrals. You have to 'get your feelers out there' and keep an open mind about things. You never know what you might find and also, it's about what you know and WHO you know!

ISSUE #2 - The budget advisor does not take into consideration that a specific percentage of the budget is simply not a realistic figure of what that product or service actually costs. In the old days, this method might work. But most industries in the wedding market have flourished because of the HUGE numbers of brides getting married and costs have sky-rocketed, as many of you already are finding out! And while, we don't recommend hiring weekend warriors for any of your vendors, the reality is that there are some really great vendors working out of home offices which in turn would lower the price. Also, you have vendors who have worked in the field for years, but under someone else's company. Now that this vendor is on their own, they will offer a lower price because they are building their own client base, after having worked with someone else for years making them rich. It's this huge discrepancy that we've discussed that makes this all work. If you look enough, you will find a quality vendor that offers a lower price for various reasons which we have also discussed.

In conclusion: These ideas are nothing new but how they are combined and being applied together in shopping for your wedding vendors is a radical new approach. Just like everything else in the wedding market, things have evolved. And so must your ideas and mind set with respect to spending your wedding budget. This concept we discuss here and how it applies to planning a wedding have never been associated as closely before. In any given situation, there are numerous ways to achieve a goal, wedding planning notwithstanding. But even with that in consideration, the overall 'standard' if you will, of planning a wedding was the idea to take a recommended percentage of the overall budget, and spread it out accordingly. But with this method, the emotional aspect of what means more to you, is not considered within the budget advisor.

Useful Links to wedding budgets articles on the web:

About.com
iVillage.com